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| Image courtesy of Guy Prives |
I had date today with a really nice guy that I've been chatting to (in a virtual and real sense) for months. In that time I had loosely mentioned the narcolepsy. I don't like to bring it up too soon for fear that a person won't be able to see beyond it. However, it does need mentioning. I'd be very interested to hear how others deal with it. Dating is hard enough without any complications. Meeting someone who isn't weird, annoying, into soft rock (a big no no for me!), has a reasonable level of intelligence, shares some of my interests and doesn't live a million miles away is a feat in itself. I could really do without throwing weird neurological conditions into the mix.
So when do people bring up the subject? In the past, I've told people after a few messages have been exchanged and interest on both sides has been shown. I usually refrain from naming it initially, preferring to say that I have a strange neurological condition that makes me tired at times. If we meet and click, I'll tell them a little more about it. It feels fairer to do this way.
Yes I know anyone worthy of having a relationship with me, needs to be accepting of me and all my sleepy quirks. But it doesn't stop me struggling with the idea of telling people though. How do you deal with it?
Great post topic! I tell people right away and over a few years of dating with narcolepsy, I felt that the way I present the information influenced how the person responded. And if someone doesn't "get it" than the sooner the better to realize this and move on. :-) Ever onward! We are worthy of love, respect and happiness.
ReplyDeleteHi, thanks for taking the time to leave a comment. I completely agree, the way information is presented can make a difference in its interpretation. I find most people are interested in the neurological aspect that causes the condition. But that maybe because I'm drawn to geeky types!
ReplyDeleteI've come to the opinion that you don't get to your late 30's without a bit of baggage and this is mine. Just one of my many 'me' quirks :-)
I put it in my dating profile in a fun way. :) Most of the guys I chatted with ended up bringing it up and asking about it. I do agree that the presentation has a lot to do with it. It's better to make it something you're proud of, which you should be anyway since it's hard work to live with it!
ReplyDeleteThat's really interesting Danielle. Now that you mention it, i guess I do refer to it a little in my profile on dating sites. Just not by name.
ReplyDeleteI found the whole dating thing really weird. I'd come out this very long relationship (15 years) and realised I didn't actually know what it was and how to do it! So I made my own rules up (never a bad thing) and would tell people what I considered to be my flaws in the second message exchanged. A couple of people kinda went 'whoa' and stepped away, most though said that they found it a refreshing approach and that it made me more interesting. Who'd of thought!!!!