Trust me, I'm a doctor....

Well I'm glad I added a rant disclosure at the very beginning of this blog, because I'm going to need it now. Today I went to my gp, just to check that i wasn't en route to a heart attack. I had some major heart palpitations last night that were a bit scary and thought i should get myself checked out to be on the safe side. Play sod at his own game and all that. Thankfully all is normal when factoring in a diet of dexamphetamine, although I do have to give up tea. Anyone who knows me will know that this information would not have gone down to well!

Whilst there I mentioned the general negative attitude of my consultant and the fact that he still hasn't made a conclusive decision regarding my ability to drive. My GP (who is the epitome of a good physician and was actually the first person to believe that i had a sleep problem and not just 'stressed') brings up my notes and a recent letter from said consultant.  As I never receive a copy of these letters and the last couple have been fairly derogatory towards me, I was keen to read. Wow....its official, my consultant is an arse of the greatest proportions. Oops language. Apologies, i'll rephrase.  I have now lost all confidence in my consultants medical opinion (but he's still an arse!). The letter consisted of just three or four sentences, one of which stated (and i loosely quote, as my memory is very shoddy these days) "I'm unsure how sleepy Mrs M actually gets". So let me get this right...the same consultant, who's referring to a clinic appointment where he informed me that i wasn't fit enough to drive, is doubting how tired I get?  And on top of that prescribed dexamphetamine (a drug that is far from being pleasant and can only be dispensed via a hospital pharmacy) anyway?  WHAT?

This is also the same consultant who gave me an additional diagnosis of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome a few years ago (with a letter to my GP stating that symptoms were depression related) after discussing my concerns that something was triggering my narcolepsy, making my symptoms worse. I left that same consultation in tears, because it was obvious that he just wasn't listening.  A few appointments and tests later with my GP, I find out that i have thyroid issues, which being another autoimmune condition will worsen narcoleptic symptoms.

A good physician can make the world of difference. I know, I had one until he sadly passed away (and not replaced). My previous consultant (a bonefide sleep specialist and not a general neurologist) was fantastic. He always took the time to actively listen to what I had to say and then made sure that he had heard correctly. He never judged and although stern in his advice, it was always delivered with the best patient care in mind. But most importantly, he trusted my judgement on my own body. I have now requested that I am transferred to someone else's list, even if it means travelling a distance. Something that my GP says will be a little tricky to sort, as it will require a separate application for funding via the welsh assembly.  Thankfully, he's happy to support this application and will fight my corner.

I'm not writing this just to rant and rave (well, ok maybe a little), more that i want to highlight that we all too often just accept doctors as these all knowledgeably entities, that shouldn't be questioned. Yes they may tell us something that we don't want to hear at times and yes, as patients we have to process the information they provide, respecting their judgement. However, we should never forget that they are accountable like any other professional and should be challenged if we feel that something isn't quite right. From today, I intend to question until I'm seen by someone who has my confidence in their medical capability and advice. Something I look forward to and will greatly appreciate when it arrives.