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There are lots of different types of hallucinations that have little to do with mental illness and aren't an unusual occurrence among people with neurological conditions or disorders. They aren't restricted to a personality type and can affect absolutely anyone, with experiences dependent on the neurological condition causing them. The condition, Charles Bonnet Syndrome is a wonderful example where in extreme cases totally blind individuals remarkably experience visual hallucinations and completely deaf individuals experience audio hallucinations. The wonderful neurologist and writer, Oliver Sacks (who I'm sure most people would agree is a very sane person) has stated in his latest book that he regular experiences visual hallucinations, in the form of colours and patterns. He describes learning to ignore them, in much the same way he ignores his tinnitus (persistent ringing of the ears).
PWN typically have hypnagogic hallucinations (experiences upon waking) or hypnopomoic hallucinations (experiences when falling asleep), which are generally visual, audio or tactile; although olfactory (smells) and gustatory (taste) have also been reported at times. They range from milder forms such as out of body sensations to frightening experiences of being attacked. For me the main difference between these and hallucinations associated with mental illness, is that the ability to rationalise disturbances remains. We know that they aren't real and as vivid as they may appear, we just accept them as one of the many weird sleep experiences that come with having narcolepsy. I don't know of anyone who has ever tried to find a meaning within them or treated experiences as messages that require interpretation.
This is a subject of much interest to me at the moment and I'd love to hear about others peoples experiences, as I know that I'm not alone in having them. How often do they occur? Is there an association with feeling stressed? Is there a recurring theme? What form do they take and do they play upon your fears? How do they affect your partner?
Mine are mainly audio ranging from frightening sounds of my home being invaded (as described here) to hearing a child singing (which happened last night with no children in the house). I have also had tactile hallucinations, waking up to a baby moving and kicking inside me. Bit freaky! The worst experience by far was the only visual hallucination I've ever had and was incredibly disturbing. Two missing girls had been found murdered in the UK some years ago and I saw one of them in the room with me, literally dying before my eyes. I immediately ran to the toilet to be sick afterwards, as my partner slept on completely unaware. I decided to avoid certain news stories as much as possible from that point on. All of my hallucinations are recurring, with only very slight variations. So these are mine. What are yours?
Difference between a hallucination and night terror here
I too have the audio, hearing intruders down stairs, gun shots, to seeing and getting attacked by Large spiders. To waking up thinking my kids were missing. All super scary and super frustrating as my doctor tell me this a normal progression, as is the sleep paralysis I have just recently starting to encounter; he also tells me there currently isn't a medication for these particular symptoms. Super depressing, and Frustrated, but nice to know I am not alone.
ReplyDeleteHi Camille. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You most definitely are not alone, people just seem a little reluctant to discuss it.
ReplyDeleteLarge spiders....eek! Intruders, gun shots & missing children...so, so distressing. When my girls were younger it was difficult fighting the urge to check on them after an episode. Thankfully I know that they are OK and content with a sneak peak before I go to bed. Thinking about it now, I suspect that my episodes may have been a contributing factor to the post natal depression I had. I was obsessed with checking on them, convinced something awful was going to happen. No wonder really. Another topic to perhaps address. Thank you :)
Sorry went off topic, back to freaky night time experiences. From talking to others, there seems to be a tendency for hallucinations to be mainly negative. Must say, I found the children's singing quite refreshing. Probably the first positive hallucination I've had in 15 years! Can I ask...do you have cataplexy that's medicated? The reason I ask is that I was prescribed antidepressants Fluoxetine (for Cataplexy when first diagnosed) and much later Clomipramine (for post natal depression); both helped enormously reduce the occurrence of hallucinations and night terrors. I've had a quick look online and both drugs seem to be prescribed for these purposes. Would it be worth another chat to your doctor if these episodes are getting you down? Thanks again for taking the time to comment.
Claire
Claire, thank you for your response. I find it easy to be reluctant to share because most people I share with do not have Narcolepsy so they don't truly understand. They are either quick to judge, joke or tell me that maybe my doctor has the wrong diagnosis. I too find my self constantly checking on the kids. I actually just had a appt with my doctor, I have not been diagnosed with cataplexy so I am not given medication for those symptoms. The hallucinations, and sleep paralysis are very recent developments for me. Literally it's been 2 weeks since I have been encountering them. This is something I talked to my Neurologist about but at this point he doesn't feel the severity of my symptoms is quite enough to be considered cataplexy, therefore I don't receive medication. So I'm kind of in Limbo with it. He told me it is a normal progression and if they begin to ocur more frequently then we will go from there. I currently take dextroamphetamine which is great for my daytime sleepiness but terrible for my mood and I get numbness dehydration and it kills my appetite. But so far it's the best of the bunch that I have tried. I am trying to stay positive but at times I just feel like it's controlling my life instead of the other way around. I am so glad I found this blog, already it's helping me cope a little better knowing that I'm not alone. Thank you again
DeleteSorry for the late reply. I'm so glad that you're finding my blog useful.
DeleteLet's be honest, narcolepsy does have control in the respect that it's an invasive condition, that forces us to make changes within our lives that we wouldn't have otherwise made. However, diagnosis and treatment does allow us to take back some of that control, although it may not be as much as we would like. I'm not going to dress it up. It is a debilitating condition to have and people around us should be aware of the effect it has, as it's the only way to educate ignorant. I completely understand your reluctance, it's only very recently that I stepped out the sleepy closet myself.
Most people find that narcolepsy and cataplexy settles into a predicable pattern, which allows us to plan around it. It's not ideal, but at least we can plan to some degree. These are difficult conditions to come to terms with, so don't beat yourself up if you feel negatively towards them. If you can, try to use those feelings to fuel a determination to focus upon the things that really matter in your life.
Am I the only person who doesn't ever get negative hallucinations? Mine are always tame to the point of dull, e.g. I started to fall asleep on the bus and thought there was somebody next to me trying to open the window so I apologised to them, there was (of course) nobody there so I just looked like a crazy person saying sorry to nobody. (Also how British is that, I even apologise to people in my hallucinations...)
ReplyDeleteOh that is very British. Did you offer to make him a brew too?! We're all different. I expect that there are lots of people with similar experiences to yourself, just that they rarely get the same attention as the more frightening varieties. It doesn't matter how often they happen, it's still very embarrassing when they occur in public and you're certainly not alone in that.
DeleteI generally have a nap in the afternoon, before I pick my children up from school. As I pretty much leave the house minutes after waking (to maximise sleep time!), i'm quite surprised I haven't had an episode/embarrassed myself in front of the other mums and dads at the school gate. It's bound to happen at some point!
Thanks for taking the time to comment :-)